Week 14: The Check Swing

There's so much to like about this photo. An Arizona pitcher in his natural habitat. Dodgers fans stunned by A.J. Pollock doing something good for a change. Pollock not getting hurt leaving the batter's box.

1. Tears In Nevin (Rich/Brian, 10-3-1, 2878.67 points, previously 1): The commissioners had a huge lead on the Bucs before the all-star break, but Ray's team closed the gap in a major way and put a scare into our points leaders. We can neither confirm nor deny that Rich literally peed his pants. His offense does get the credit for the W, though. Freddie Freeman, Max Muncy and Andrew McCutchen totaled 10 homers and 28 RBIs, and it was nice to have Brandon Nimmo back from the IL. On the mound, Deka's pitchers went 3-7 with 2 blown saves and 2 successful saves. Sounds like an average week for the Phillies, to be honest.

Gotta admit we don't mind seeing Josh Hader fail.

2. Sunshine Carpet Cleaners (Jack, 8-6, 2691.17 points, previously 2): The Carpet Cleaners had a decent week but got thumped by FBLG's highest-scoring team in that stretch, The Misfits. Redbeard the Dodger (Justin Turner) led the offense by hitting 3 homers and driving in 13 runs; that helped make up for his 3 errors. Fernando Tatis Jr. homered twice but committed 2 errors. Is there a pattern here? Jon Gray and Walker Buehler combined to go 3-0 and scored 84 points, but Max Scherzer allowed 11 runs in 10.2 innings and Josh Hader went 0-2 with a blown save.

3. Lumber Co Lumber (John, 9-5, 2664.17 points, previously 4): In our closest battle of the week, LCL took down the surging Penny Ponies. John had 3 hitters score more than 40 points, and naturally one of them was Jake Cronenworth — who managed to do a lot of everything without really doing anything. Wil Myers stayed healthy enough to score 46 points; he drove in 15 runs and walked 8 times. Juan Soto topped that by walking 9 times, and he also hit 5 long balls, drove in 11 and scored 13 times. The pitching staff was nothing to get excited about, although goofy lefty Jake McGee did pick up 3 saves in 3 innings of work.

Josh Bell must have learned the art of singles hitting from Adam Frazier.

4. The Misfits (Reid, 7-7, 2634.5 points, previously 6): Reid's team went nuts in Week 14. Let us count the ways. Mookie Betts hit 4 bombs and 4 doubles while scoring 13 runs and 49.5 points. A.J. Pollock went deep 5 times and scored 39 points. Javier Baez hit 3 homers and drove in 9. Josh Bell hit 10 singles. Catcher Will Smith drove in 10 runs. The pitching staff went 8-1, with Julio Urias, Max Fried and Kyle Hendricks each winning twice.

5. Project Mayhem (Bill, 7-7, 2588.17 points, previously 3): It wasn't that long ago that PM was moving up the rankings and looking like a threat to contend for the championship. Now, the cracks are showing. Yu Darvish has pitched only twice this month, and he's allowed 10 runs in 9 innings. Anthony DeSclafani is pitching well, but ... come on. It's Anthony DeSclafani. Trevor Bauer is out for reasons we'd rather not talk about. Ronald Acuña Jr. is done for the season, and shortstops Gavin Lux and Brandon Crawford are on the IL as well.

"Dressed up like a million dollar trooper; tryin' hard to look like Garrett Cooper (super duper)."

6. The Rookies (Henry, 6-7-1, 2581.67 points, previously 5): Henry's team came away with a win against the Losers in Week 14. Zack Wheeler and Tyler Mahle got knocked around a little — OK, a lot. They combined to allow 16 runs in 23 innings. Corbin Burnes made up for it by striking out 20 and allowing 1 run in 14 innings. Dansby Swanson, Rich's favorite Civil War veteran, led the offense with 34.5 points. Garrett Cooper wasn't far behind, so maybe we've been wrong about Coop this whole time.

7. Boogie Oogie Penny Ponies (Matt, 8-6, 2568.17 points, previously 8): Despite a loss to LCL, things are starting to come together for Matt's team. German Marquez was outstanding in 1 start, and Luis Castillo was outstanding in 3 — although in typical Reds fashion, he failed to earn a decision. With Freddy Peralta and Mark Melancon around, that pitching staff looks pretty potent now. On the offensive side, Joc Pederson, Trea Turner, Rhys Hopkins and Manny Machado each surpassed 30 points.

Chris Paddack's ERA by season: 3.33, 4.73, 5.49.

8. Clemente's Bucs (Ray, 8-6, 2553.67 points, previously 7): Getting 41 points from Bryce Harper? Sure, that's to be expected. Getting 40 from Willy Adames? That's just ridiculous. Unfortunately for Ray, it wasn't enough to get the Bucs past TIN. Charlie Morton, Brandon Woodruff and Patrick Corbin were effective, but Erick Fedde (-6.67 points in a blow-up start) and Chris Paddack (13 runs allowed in 9 innings) were far from it.

9. Jon Voight's Car (Adam, 4-10, 2377.17 points, previously 9): Adam just keeps churning through free agents, looking to find the magic recipe. I don't know; what do you want me to say? Jacob deGrom can't stay healthy, Marcus Stroman can't pick up a win no matter how well he pitches, Francisco Lindor is a bust... and that's just the METS on this team. Shall we do the Cubs next? OK, fine. Ian Happ stinks. Nico Hoerner is your typical overhyped Chicago middle infielder. Patrick Wisdom is Bob Hamelin-ing all over the place. Next week, Adam's Phillies will be in the spotlight.

Did someone say Bob Hamelin?

10. Arbitration Losers (Tim, 2-12, 2281 points, previously 10): Tim's team has 3 starting pitchers from the best team in baseball, yet here we are. (Baffled shrug.) But at least AL wasn't our lowest-scoring team in Week 14!