Week 12: The Check Swing

That feeling when your manager asks for the ball and says nothing else — and you cost your fantasy team a win.

Feeling nostalgic, Rich?

1. Tears In Nevin (Rich/Brian, 8-3-1, 2396.67 points, previously 1): The commissioners came away with a win against the Carpet Cleaners without really doing anything special. Sure, Clayton Kershaw pitched like it was 2015 and put up 32 points. But no other player scored 20 points, no one hit more than 1 home run, and the pitching staff went a mediocre 3-3. Don Mattingly needs to shave those sideburns and figure out how to get his Marlins to score some runs when Pablo Lopez, Sandy Alcantara and Trevor Rogers are on the mound. Jazz Chisholm Jr. earned the Dee Gordon Award by committing 2 errors and getting caught stealing — but also tripling twice and homering. The injured Corey Dickerson got traded to Toronto, and rumor has it Eduardo Escobar is about to get traded to a team that actually gives a crap.

2. Project Mayhem (Bill, 7-5, 2235.67 points, previously 2): A one-point loss to The Misfits kept PM from earning its 8th win of the season. As is our tradition here at Check Swing HQ, we'll go looking for a scapegoat, and — oh, we see you, Jon Lester! The washed-up National cost his team 6.67 points, so all he had to do was be slightly less terrible and Bill's team would be 8-4. Yu Darvish struck out 18 hitters in 12 innings while scoring 33 points, and Anthony DeSclafani continues to be a divisive figure for the commissioners. He's a classic guido (ayy!) but also annoyingly good for San Francisco (ugh!). On the hitting side, Ronald Acuña Jr. and Trent Grisham were pretty good, but Gavin Lux and Anthony Rizzo were lackluster. Jesse Winker homered only once, so I'd cut him if I were Bill.

Bryan Reynolds (left) singled 10 times, homered once and drove in 8 runs last week.

3. Lumber Co Lumber (John, 8-4, 2212.17 points, previously 4): OK, OK, OK. We get it. We were wrong to make fun of John for having so many Pirates on his roster. Of course, it turns out there are really only 3 good ones, but John has them ALL. And they are helping him clobber teams. The LCL offense scored 148.5 points, which was more than enough on its own to lift LCL past the slumping JVC. Jake Cronenworth led the way with 31 points behind the power of 4 homers and 9 RBIs. We haven't hated a Padre this much since ... Manny Machado, actually. As for the aforementioned Pirates mashers, Adam Frazier (27 points), Bryan Reynolds (24.5 points) and Ke'Bryan Hayes (20.5 points) feasted on White Sox and Cardinals pitching. On the pitching side, Joe Musgrove keeps pitching well and not winning. JT Brubaker and Vladimir Gutierrez were just "meh" and got saddled with losses.

4. Sunshine Carpet Cleaners (Jack, 7-5, 2211.5 points, previously 3): You're not gonna believe this, but Fernando Tatis Jr. was SCC's top performer in Week 12. He hit a bunch of homers, drove in a bunch of runs, walked a bunch of times, stole a bunch of bases — and made a couple of errors. The most exciting thing in baseball might be watching Rich try to juggle two catchers, but Tatis is a clear No. 2. Meanwhile, J.T. Realmuto (3.5 points) and Charlie Blackmon (6 points) were pretty useless. Still, the offense wasn't the problem for SCC in its loss to TIN; the pitching just didn't keep up. Max Scherzer led the way with a 17-point win, but Walker Buehler took a rare loss, and Wade Miley and Taijuan Walker couldn't pick up wins despite pitching well.

Wait, don't tell me! Steven Duggar is ... the one on the right?

5. The Rookies (Henry, 4-7-1, 2162.5 points, previously 6): The Rooks almost hit 200 points and were FBLG's top-scoring team of the week while knocking off CB (no, not C.B. Bucknor). Henry's top hitters were Atlanta's middle-infield tandem of Ozzie Albies and Brig. Gen. Dansby Swanson. Steven Duggar was pretty good too, but we still couldn't pick him out of a police lineup. And he's a Giant, so I'm sure it wouldn't be his first. Is there a scarier FBLG rotation than Zack Wheeler, Corbin Burnes, Ian Anderson and Tyler Mahle? Even when they're not winning — they went 2-3 in Week 12 — they rack up points with massive strikeout totals. We still can't figure out how Craig Kimbrel turned his career around, but he's apparently unhittable again.

6. The Misfits (Reid, 6-6, 2151.33 points, previously 5): We're going to focus on the wacky story of Reid's pitching in Week 12 because the hitting was pretty uninteresting. Kenley Jansen pitched once and scored 3 points. Ho hum. Zach Davies didn't allow a run in a 15-point win. Nice. Kyle Hendricks didn't allow a run in a 16-point win. Also nice. Adam Wainwright allowed 1 run in an 18-point win. Very nice. Julio Urias ... well, Julio had a strange week. He pitched 9.1 innings across a pair of starts and allowed 8 runs while going 0-1. But he struck out 17 guys!

This was Tommy Pham attempting to hit earlier this season.

7. Clemente's Bucs (Ray, 7-5, 2072.83 points, previously 7): Ray's move up the rankings stalled in Week 12. The Bucs' top hitter was Tommy Pham, which has to be infuriating for the 9 FBLG teams who cut him when he was hitting in the Travis Shaw range earlier this year. Bryce Harper hit 3 homers — hooray! — which was good for (slides beads across the dusty abacus on Rich's desk) only 3 RBIs and 4 runs. Way to go, Phillies. Charlie Morton (23 points) and Brandon Woodruff (20 points) pitched like top-of-the-rotation guys. Unfortunately, Chris Paddack (-0.67 points) and Las Vegas' own Erick Fedde (-4 points) might as well have been chucked off the top of the Stratosphere tower.

8. Boogie Oogie Penny Ponies (Matt, 7-5, 2060.17 points, previously 9): Matt's BOPPers picked up a win against the Arb Losers for two reasons: Kyle Schwarber and solid pitching. Well, mostly solid pitching. Freddy Peralta, Luis Castillo and German Marquez were simply outstanding, going 3-0 with 23 Ks in 21 innings and only 1 run allowed. The infuriatingly reliable Mark Melancon picked up 3 more saves and is on pace for about 80 this year. Aaaaaaaand then there's Brett Anderson. Matt rolled the dice on the softest-tossing lefty and learned why his ESPN ownership rate is 0.0000001 percent. Anderson posted -3.67 points and is currently a free agent. We can't wait to watch FBLG owners scramble to put in their claims. As for Schwarber, he hit 4 more homers and drove in 8 runs. He went full-on Domonic Brown in June.

You are looking LIVE at Adam trying to fix his roster.

9. Jon Voight's Car (Adam, 3-9, 2016.83 points, previously 8): Adam's team is performing like the late-season 1995 Angels (sorry, buddy) but without the benefit of starting out in first place. The tumble down the rankings continued with a blowout loss to LCL. Nick Castellanos keeps mashing, and Francisco Lindor is hitting better — but not second-round-pick better. The rest of the lineup is hot-and-cold guys, and they're all cold right now. Looking at you, Eric Hosmer, David Peralta, Ian Happ and assorted scrubs. Even the pitching staff is underperforming, thanks to injuries, brittle delicate geniuses and general Mets-iness. Turns out Jacob deGrom, Marcus Stroman, Jack Flaherty, Miles Mikolas and Dinelson Lamet are about as reliable as an '89 LeBaron.

10. Arbitration Losers (Tim, 2-10, 1912 points, previously 10): Oh, Tim. It just keeps getting worse. The Losers' pitching was actually pretty good in Week 12 — all 4 starters and the closer scored 12.33 or more points without the benefit of any double starts. Kevin Gausman, Blake Snell, Alex Wood, Johnny Cueto and Will Smith allowed only 2 runs with 32 Ks in 28.1 innings with a 2-0 record and 3 saves. The hitting, on the other hand ... (cringe face). Buster Posey scored 6.5 points. Joey Votto scored 5.5 points. The 4 outfielders — Michael Conforto, Odubel Herrera, Starling Marte and Adam Duvall — totaled 20 points. Tim, we're curious to see which Giant you'll choose with the No. 1 overall pick in the 2022 FBLG draft.