Hey now - you're (not) a(n) all-star

Corbin is our third-favorite Carroll, behind only Shelby and O'Connor. (Sorry, Diahann.)

Hello again, FBLG owners.

We apologize for the radio silence from the commissioners' office. We've been busy the past few months down in Latin America, scouting teams in lower-level leagues hoping to find the next kid who might get drafted by a National League team and become a breakout star. Rich spotted a 14-year-old shortstop in Panama who has the potential to be the next Omar Quintanilla. Whatever it takes to get a leg up on our FBLG foes. Anyway...

As the all-star break approaches, the baseball world prepares to honor the players who have made us rise out of our seats in 2024. But being the humanitarians that we are, we thought it would also be a good time to look back at the players who have let us down this season. Thus, we proudly present to you our top 10 FBLG draft busts of 2024, listed in draft order.

Brig. Gen. Dansby Swanson fought for the losing side, which prepared him for his time with the Cubs.

1 RONALD ACUNA JR. (Lumber Co Lumber - pick 1): It was no surprise when John drafted the Braves star with the first pick in the draft. What was a surprise was Acuna following up an epic MVP season with a thoroughly bland performance through 49 games before a knee injury ended his year. His slash line of .250/.351/.365 gave him an OPS+ of 103, or just above league average.

2 CORBIN CARROLL (The Exterminator - pick 7): The defending NL rookie of the year looked like a budding superstar until a shoulder injury made him look human in 2023. Those struggles carried over to this season, with Carroll barely hanging on to his job. He's seen his OPS drop more than 250 points, and his slash line of .210/.297/.316 is downright awful. He slugged 25 homers a year ago but has only 3 in 2024.

3 NICO HOERNER (Urban Achievers - pick 22): Hoerner isn't here because he's having a bad season. He's here because he's underperformed for a third-round pick and he's in a terrible lineup that doesn't score enough runs. His slash line is .254/.335/.347, but he is heating up as the all-star break approaches. Oh, also, he was drafted one spot ahead of Aaron Nola.

This is the first time a Marlins pitcher has ever disappointed us.

4 JESUS LUZARDO (The Desperadoes - pick 26): One of four third-round picks on this list, Luzardo has since joined a thousand other Miami pitchers on the injured list. Before the back injury that shelved him, Luzardo wasn't exactly worthy of being such a lofty selection, going 3-6 with a 5.00 ERA in 12 starts. The 3 wins are tied for second on the team, so he's got that going for him. Which is nice.

5 PAUL GOLDSCHMIDT (The Rookies - pick 28): Two years ago, Goldy was the NL MVP and led the league in OPS and slugging percentage. This year, his slash line is a paltry .229/.292/.373, and he's on pace for almost 200 strikeouts. His OPS+ is all the way down to 88; the lowest OPS+ number of his 14-year career is 115. Bring back Allen Craig!

6 MICHAEL HARRIS II (Clemente's Bucs - pick 29): After two strong seasons at ages 21 and 22, Harris seemed poised for a breakout in a lineup loaded with mashers. Instead, he's taken a major step back and isn't providing much of anything for an Atlanta lineup that could use the help. Harris' slash line is .250/.295/.358, with an OPS+ of only 83.

7 BOBBY MILLER (Project Misfits - pick 36): Some analysts predicted that despite the additions of Tyler Glasnow and Yoshinobu Yamamoto, Miller would actually be the ace for Los Angeles this season. It hasn't worked out that way, with the 25-year-old alternately getting injured and roughed up since his outstanding first start. He is 1-2 with an 8.07 ERA in only 7 starts and currently is working out the kinks in Oklahoma City, which is a terrible place to work out anything.

Typical Gold Glove defense in the Colorado outfield.

8 NOLAN JONES (Goin' Somewhere Meat? - pick 38): A Rockies outfielder coming off a season with a slash line of .297/.389/.542 going into his age-26 season seemed like a no-brainer on draft day. Instead, Jones has been injured and horrible, seeing his OPS+ drop from 141 last season to 72. Jones' slash line of .202/.311/.313 would be ugly even for a backup catcher in Colorado. (We see you, Tony Wolters!)

9 DANSBY SWANSON (The Exterminator - pick 47): We love to pick on our favorite "Gone With the Wind" character, but this time it's legitimate. The ol' brigadier general has been in the league long enough that we know what to expect from him: a batting average around .250, some steals, moderate power, good run production and top-notch defense. The glove work might still be there, but the offense has vanished. He's slashing .213/.284/.355 with an OPS+ of 78. More embarrassingly, he's been dropped down in the Cubs' batting order, which isn't exactly loaded with Sandberg, Grace and Dawson.

10 JAMES OUTMAN (Project Misfits - pick 56): How bad has Outman been this season? The Dodgers were shorthanded in the outfield because of injuries, and they still sent him to the minors to figure things out. He's back with the big club, and his slash line is up to .158/.257/.267. By comparison, pitcher Fernando Valenzuela had a career slash line of .200/.205/.262.

Camilo Doval is starting to remind us of "Sloppy" Joe Borowski.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

1. Spencer Strider (Project Misfits - pick 5): We try not to hold it against a pitcher when his arm blows up and he's gone for the season. That's why the Braves' ace is listed here and not in the top 10. However, Strider - coming off a 20-win season with 281 strikeouts - made only two lackluster starts before the rubber band snapped; he allowed 7 earned runs in 9 innings.

2. Matt McClain (Goin' Somewhere Meat? - pick 43): McClain injured his shoulder days after the FLBG draft and still hasn't appeared in a minor-league game.

3. Xander Bogaerts (Arbitration Losers - pick 44): In his second season in San Diego, Bogaerts shifted from shortstop to second base and has been a disaster. He's missed time with a shoulder injury and hasn't done much when healthy, slashing .225/.270/.319. Enjoy the next nine years of that contract, Padres fan(s)!

4. Camilo Doval (Clemente's Bucs - pick 49): Doval was the first closer taken in the draft, but he's provided only 17 saves. That's why Clemente's Bucs has the third-fewest saves in FBLG. Doval is allowing hits and walks at the highest rates of his career, and his ERA is also a career-worst 3.93.

5. Nick Castellanos (The Rookies - pick 53): Castellanos finally found a home with the commissioners, but only after he was evicted from The Rookies and GSM. Even with the recent rise to mediocrity, his slash line for the season is only .233/.290/.382. That's good for a career-worst OPS+ of 89.